Treasured.

One of my favorite song lyrics is from Flyleaf's song "Treasure" is "Tonight, I've become the most dazzling, precious treasure, I'll be treasured over all the earth." I've grown up being told I was treasured and loved by God. I've grown up learning how delighted God was in me and that it was His pleasure to give me what I needed and more.
And of course, being the spoiled brat I am, I've gotten used to this take, take, take method of daughtering (if that's even a word. If not, I just made it a word). Lately, anything spiritual has kind of bounced right off me or gone in one ear and out the other. I've been spiritually dry. I think the reason is simply the amount of business in my life right now. My daily routine is to wake up at 6:30ish, throw my uniform on, maybe eat breakfast and drink coffee, and fly out of the house with my school stuff in tow. Between the bus and school time, I'm basically working from 7:15-3:45 except for Thursday when it's 7:15-4:45. Once I get off the bus, I catch up on communicating with family and friends (I'm trying to make it sound better but really...it's catch up on Facebook). Some nights I cook dinner (depending on who's turn it is). Then there's the housework (which usually lags behind). Recently there's also been work on the child sponsorship program here at Destino (which has been such a wonderful blessing getting to talk with my student's sponsors!). Add Spanish class and that homework, plus grocery shopping (an event in itself since we have to walk around 15 blocks to get to the grocery store). Long story short, my life has been busier than ever. My personal relationship with Christ has stumbled greatly with the lack of time to simply sit at His feet and let him refresh me, heal me, and hold me.

Yesterday, I had bible study with the other American teachers (we're doing Glorious Freedom by Beth Moore). It was all about our adoption into God's family and how cherished and treasured we are in God's eyes. The last question asked in the chapter was how I felt I needed to respond.  Confession, I've kind of skipped over that question because by the time I reach the end of the chapter, I don't remember what I've studied. Everything had been going in one ear and out the other.  But this time, I knew how God wanted me to respond. This was what I felt him saying to me last night, "I have showed you, time and again, how much I cherish you. You are the apple of my eye, I created you specifically, I love you, I gave up my most greatest treasure for you, my Son. And I will continue to show you this unending, infinite, unconditional love for eternity. But please, cherish me." And of course, that stung like cutting your finger open while cutting a lemon. However, it was a beautiful moment because it was like, "I feel something! My spiritual walk isn't numb. I felt something!!!" I know I won't always have this zeal for cherishing God, but for right now, I'm going to seek God with all my heart because I want to show Him that I cherish him too.

After bible study, I spend some time reading God's word and journaling. This is what I wrote.
(Don't judge my changing of persons. Sometimes I talk to my journal, and sometimes I talk to myself).

It's so hard because I hate saying that I'm "making time for God" because I feel like that puts God in a box. But I'm realizing more and more that when you make "God time" God becomes "time." So don't be afraid to box God in to one certain time during your day because really, can we really put God in a box??? We may "allow" him to come into this one little part of our lives, but He's too great to stay there. He's going to start moving around. So basically, make "God time" but expect God to show up at other times and just blow you away in ways you never expected!

So if someone we to ask me what lesson I'm learning here in Honduras, I would say that I'm learning how to cherish God in my own way.