Back in April, one of my roommates and I took a short "Semana Santa" trip to Utila, Honduras. While we were on the island, we went snorkeling in, what I was told, is the second largest corral reef next to the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. It was an absolutely amazing experience. It was like I was inside a gigantic fish tank. So, if you see me longingly looking at a fish tank, you'll know why. Anyway, back on track. There was a point when my roommate popped her head out of the water and yells, "I found the drop off!!!" I suddenly had the biggest desire to drink water, which was on shore, away from the drop off. Jenna said she had never seen me move so quickly.
If you ask me what my biggest fear is, it's not knowing. In the reef, I knew where I was, I knew what I was doing, and I was seeing some awesome stuff. But the drop off...oh the drop off. There was too much water and not enough knowledge for my tastes. My heart rate went down as I sipped on some cool, refreshing water. I laughed at myself and my reaction towards "the drop off" and decided to go back out. When you're under water and snorkeling, you kind of have no sense of direction. It's actually relaxing because in your mind you're thinking, "As long as I don't see a man eating shark, or a gigantic sting ray that could stab me to death, I'm okay." Before I knew it, I was facing the drop off. My heart was racing. My palms were damp (yes, even in the water, I could feel the sweat of my palms). But I just sat there, looking at it. It was the deepest, prettiest, most amazing blue I had ever seen. It was also the most vast, most dangerous thing I had ever seen.
As I was floating there, right on the edge of the reef and the big blue (as our friendly, orange, clown fish would say), I thought, "Wow, this is kind of like my future. It has the ability to be really exciting and amazing, and at the same time, kill me." At that point, I had recently made the decision to not go back to Destino and had absolutely NO idea what I was going to do when I got home. My whole plan for coming home was, "Eat Chick-Fil-A, go to my church, get a job, and get a place of my own." After applying to some jobs and having interview difficulties (something about being countries away throws a wrench in your plans) I had just surrendered the job search for the time being. I figured I would start looking once I got back Home. And then my dad's accident happened and I came home earlier than planned.
The night I got home, my mom came to me and said, "I didn't want to throw this on you too soon, but Taft really wants you for their youth minister." And I was stunned! Ever since working with their middle schoolers for VBS last summer, I wanted to be their youth minister. But, that one would have to hold because I was Honduras bound! I had spoken with the pastor a few times on Facebook just checking up on the kids. I had even told him that if they hadn't found a youth minister by the time I got back, I'd love to help them out. Turns out, God was saving that spot for me!
So yes, my future has the ability to be exciting and amazing and kill me at the same time. I don't know how long I will be at this church ministering and encouraging these kids in their walk with Christ. Could be one year, could be ten years! But I will stay there until God tells me to go somewhere else. And let me tell you, I am excited!!!
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