Reflections

I love journaling. However, I'm pretty sporadic at times. I'll go for weeks of daily journaling, and then not write a thing down for three months. In light of all that's happening in my life, this has been changing.  I've visited my journal much more than I have in the history of forever.

I believe there are two parts of journaling. The first is the part we all know about: writing.  The other part I feel has equal importance is reading what you journaled.  Yes, it is a VERY painful experience at times. Especially when you read journal entries made at an ungodly hour of 2 or 3 in the morning in the height of emotion and you sound just, stupid.  Thoughts that have gone through my head as I reread journal entries is, "Wow. I really actually liked this guy???" or "Since when did I not know the difference between wine and whine?" or "Did this make sense at the time?"

Despite the cringes, I do stumble across something beautiful every once in a while.

October 3, 2011 I wrote this in regards to Honduras.
God, I don't know what you're doing, but I have unrest.  Am I to stay content where I am? Or seek after a plan completely different? Do I go to Honduras or stay? God please show me what you want. I want to trust you with all my heart. I don't want to follow my thoughts, I want to follow your will. You know me, you know I'll probably fight the whole way. remind me to pray for Your peace when I have followed your will. 
To think that almost two years later, God has given me an answer. That I am supposed to follow a plan completely different and go to Honduras. And yes, I have fought quite a bit, but God has given me every ounce of peace needed.