~God's Favor

This is no cliche when I say that God is good.
All week long I haven't been able to withdraw money from any ATM. First the problem was that the card wasn't cleared for international use (I think).  Then they just didn't work. I ended up having a small breakdown in the middle of the grocery store (how embarrassing!). After hugs and encouragement from my roommates we decided I'd just transfer money into their accounts.  While I felt defeated, I knew that Satan hadn't won because we were going to find a way around him either way. My God takes care of sparrows, I knew he would take care of me. I woke up that morning and read out of Hosea and Psalms and both passages expressed God's sovereignty. I felt God saying, try it one more time. And of course I told him, "Okay, but that's it." I tried it, and it didn't work. But we discovered it's because I have the wrong kind of credit card carrier. So I was just going to borrow money from one of the girls until I could get the right carrier.  Today we went to the ATM so I could borrow money from one of the other girls. We noticed this ATM had a sign for the card carrier I have. So....we tried my card. And it worked. And we scared Honduras because we squealed.

I prayed this morning for God's favor, and He provided it! Thank you all for praying!

~Beautiful things from the dust!

Greetings from Honduras!
This is where the adventure has begun! SO many things to tell you!

Almost got killed by a shower head AND a light cover AND a 5 foot roach in the shower. (I've seen more bugs than I ever want to again). God is awesome for protection. Especially against the roach. ICK!

The first week of preparation for school is over. Although we'll continue spiritually preparing.
Physically preparing was easy for my class. I put my posters up on one wall and the Honduran teachers decorated the rest of the class. All my VBS partners need to see these rooms!!!

I won't lie. This week has been tough. Tougher than any week I've had so far.
Walking everywhere is physically exhilarating AND exhausting. So I'm more tired than normal which makes things twice as hard.
There are some other difficulties that need prayer, however, I don't want to share them for the world to see.

To top everything off, I burned four out of 10 fingers (yes, I have all ten) with hot glue yesterday.  God graciously gave me the small blisters on my left hand so I can still play guitar!

The other teachers and I have been doing our best to find things we're thankful for. And it has been a tremendous heart change for me.

In only one week, I have learned what it means to trust God. I've had to trust God with my safety. With my money. With my lesson planning. With healing for my fingers. I have sought God harder than I have ever done so before. I've sought him for wisdom, peace, protection, and so many other things. I pray that this doesn't wear off as I get settled into life. I doubt it will but you never know.

Also, for my hipster friends out there, life is good in the Honduran coffee shop! It's run by missionaries and they make some dang good chai lattes.

Please be praying for:
The container with a bunch of stuff we need.
Continued protection.
That I learn Spanish quick.
For our house visits to the students next week. We'll see first hand what these students are living in and what their needs are physically and spiritually.
And God has put it on my heart to pray for the MEN of Honduras.  Maybe it's because I get cat-called about 20 times every five minutes. But basically, these men need a LOT of prayer. Pray for a spiritual revival among the men of this country. Including among the pastors and spiritual leaders. Specifically, pray for Pastor Pablo for continued strength and wisdom (all of Rhonda's boys follow him around like puppies!). Also, pray for Leonel, our bus driver, God has made a change in him but he's not finished yet!

Hasta Luega

As I say my "goodbyes" I'm doing my best to avoid the phrase, "Good-bye."  I've been getting pretty handy with the phrase, "See ya later!"

I'll be honest, what I've been dreading the most about this trip is the goodbyes.  And my brain won't give me a break but keeps imagining every depressing goodbye scene.  Quite frankly, they belong in a Hallmark movie (Not that I know anything about those...*cough cough*).

But there is joy in these goodbye's.  When a goodbye is said, it is likely a "Hello" will follow. I am saying goodbye to my comfortable, American, life which includes:
1. My Bed
2. My dogs
3. My own car
4. My house of nine years
5. My closest and dearest friends
6. And my incredible family

However, as I say these goodbyes, I'm saying "Hello" to a vast array of new and exciting things such as:
1. New women who I know I will grow closer to each day
2. A new home and new bed to call my home for a little while
3. Crazy bus rides and wonderful walks
4. And most importantly, I will say "Hello" to the next step God has for me. And this is the most exciting of all.

P.S.- Reyna is back in town! God blessed me with a few moments with her before we go our separate ways again! God did some AMAZING things in her life while she was in Uganda.

Reflections

I love journaling. However, I'm pretty sporadic at times. I'll go for weeks of daily journaling, and then not write a thing down for three months. In light of all that's happening in my life, this has been changing.  I've visited my journal much more than I have in the history of forever.

I believe there are two parts of journaling. The first is the part we all know about: writing.  The other part I feel has equal importance is reading what you journaled.  Yes, it is a VERY painful experience at times. Especially when you read journal entries made at an ungodly hour of 2 or 3 in the morning in the height of emotion and you sound just, stupid.  Thoughts that have gone through my head as I reread journal entries is, "Wow. I really actually liked this guy???" or "Since when did I not know the difference between wine and whine?" or "Did this make sense at the time?"

Despite the cringes, I do stumble across something beautiful every once in a while.

October 3, 2011 I wrote this in regards to Honduras.
God, I don't know what you're doing, but I have unrest.  Am I to stay content where I am? Or seek after a plan completely different? Do I go to Honduras or stay? God please show me what you want. I want to trust you with all my heart. I don't want to follow my thoughts, I want to follow your will. You know me, you know I'll probably fight the whole way. remind me to pray for Your peace when I have followed your will. 
To think that almost two years later, God has given me an answer. That I am supposed to follow a plan completely different and go to Honduras. And yes, I have fought quite a bit, but God has given me every ounce of peace needed.

Packing....

I remember those days when I would pack for a weekend excursion....a week early.
Or when I would go to camp for a week...and be packed by the beginning of the month.
The last weekend trip I went on I packed about 6 hours before we left.
Over the years there has been a change in my excitement levels on the task of packing.

Packing for Honduras is no different! My mom is going to help me start packing tomorrow which is fantastic. I'm fairly positive I would curl up in fetal position and sob if I had to do it on my own.  It's not that I don't want to pack, it's just that I hate to pack. The stress of leaving something behind or forgetting something kills me!

As I'm typing this blog of a venting nature, God quietly speaks to me and says, "I have everything covered.  Including your packing."

He helped me finish my school (as of last night I earned my last college credit!) I'm sure He'll help me with my packing.
He helped me collect the funds I need for this trip, I'm sure He'll help me with my packing.
He helped me reach a place where I am emotionally ready for this trip, I'm sure He'll help me with my packing.
He provided me with some AWESOME co-teachers, I'm sure He'll help me with my packing.
He provided me with a free box of supplemental curriculum,  I'm sure He'll help me with my packing.
He has blessed me with a wonderful church who has committed to pray for me as I discover the next step of God's plan for me, I KNOW He'll help me with my packing.

Tests, Cats, and Colton Dixon

There are days...when Satan...really tries to get you down. 

As my departure date approaches, Satan continues to try and beat me down.  He knows I'm going, and he knows I'm a very stubborn, determined person.  But I'm human and he also knows that I get tired quickly.  So he's trying to throw anything and everything in my path. 

The latest was the fact that I only needed to pass three more DSST exams.  Long story short, I only passed one out of the three I needed to pass. Which means I have to take 6 other courses I was hoping I wouldn't have to.  While this is downright depressing to me, my spirit is smirking at Satan because I have a Plan B. It's my goal to have all my credits taken care of and transferred for graduation by the time I leave.  Failing those two tests obviously set me back a bit, Christ has given me a resiliency.  While Satan tried to get me to concentrate on my failures, Christ dusted off my knees from the stumble and set my sights back on His incredible plan!

God often uses tools in my life to assist me on my walk with Christ. I wouldn't be where I was today if it weren't for the willing vessels of some amazing people in my life.  

Today, he used my wonderful parents to encourage me to figure out my next step for school.

He used Colton Dixon's vocal perfection and incredible lyrics on Air1 (which, to me, sounds like a broken record most of the time because of the amount of times they play a song).  However, he still uses that station to reach my life! My new favorite jam is Colton's "Never Gone" which had me tearing up in the car.  It was a sweet reminder from God saying, "Don't worry! I'm not leaving your side! I'll help you through whatever you have to do!"

And God also used a cat.  For those of you who know me you're thinking, "WHAT??? DID SHE SAY A CAT???" Yes. I said a cat.  

I'm not a cat fan. 

At all. 

I find them disgusting. 

And vile. 

And mean. 

And....catty? 

Anyway, here's a shameless selfie of TAMUCC's cat and I. 

Yes, I'm going crazy. Two things I despise: selfies and cats. 

But this one was so sweet and loving and helped me forget about failing my tests. 

To use a cliche, God works in mysterious ways!

~I'm not dying....

I've decided to be completely honest in this post.  

I've struggled with how much of me I want the world to see.  I'm fine with people seeing the materialistic side of God's work in my life.  I can talk about how God has provided for me monetarily and physically, how God gave me a box of free supplemental curriculum at the homeschool convention, how random people come up and give me money because they know I'm the girl who's moving to Honduras. 

But do I tell people what's going on inside of me? 

Here's me being honest. 

I'm terrified of moving. Why?

I'm leaving my comfort zone of twenty plus years. 

I'm moving to a country where I don't know the language. 

I'm leaving best friends behind. 

I'm leaving my dogs behind (I'm the crazy dog lady).  

I'm leaving my routine behind. 

I'm leaving my job behind. 

I'm leaving my bed behind. 

This whole time, especially as my departure date comes closer and closer, I've felt like a terminally ill patient saying her last goodbyes to my friends, family, and furry family. 

I had a wake up call today. 

I AM NOT DYING!!!!!

That thought was kind of a slap in the face. Like, "Heeeeellllllloooo miss Drama Queen??? Where did you get this idea of dying???" Granted, the title of this blog is To Calvary because it's a story of me, ultimately surrendering my life to Christ.  To spiritually die.  And I believe I've focused WAY too much on the dying part. 

I forgot the living part. 

The part where I am going to experience a deeper view of God than I could have ever imagined. 

I'm going to LIVE!!!!!